South African Survival Kit

Here are some points that may help anyone who wants to visit South Africa.

Disclaimer: All of these points are based on my personal experiences and may not be a factual or accurate representation of South Africa but consider that I’ve been here almost a year so I’m pretty sure for the most part I know what I’m talking about.

Culture
 There are several different racial groups in South Africa: Black which covers anyone who is a Black South African, this includes Zulu, Xhosa, Vender, ... White which can be broken down into 2 groups one being Boer White who were the Dutch colonists and the other be all other white like the English colonists. Coloured which as a word means anyone who has a mix of Black and White origins but as a culture means a specific group of people who share the same type of lifestyle and who talk with the same accent. Indian is Indian and seems to also include people from Pakistan and the last main group is Asian.
 There are 11 official languages in South Africa, they are: isiXhosa(the one with the clicks and tock sounds) which is predominantly the language of the Eastern Cape, isiZulu which is the most widely spoken language, English(with some minor variations) which is the language used in Universities and in business, Afrikaans(a retarded version of Dutch) which was forced upon the people during Apartheid, isiNdebele, Sesotho, Setswana, siSwati, Tshivenda, Xitsonga and Sign Language
 If you look like me most coloured people will think you can speak Afrikaans.
 In South Africa it’s not racist to call someone black or white that’s actually what they are called here
 Parents in South Africa also tell their children to finish their food as there are starving children in Africa
 If you come from any country of the world outside of Africa to South Africa you are considered a visitor but if you come from an African country you are considered a foreigner
 In South Africa when people say they need to bath they actually mean bath, for some reason showering hasn’t really taken off

Language Tips (forgive me if I miss spell anything)
 Hello in isiXhosa is Molo and for a group Molweni
 How are you? – Injani
 I’m fine thanks – ndi pilile ingosi
 When addressing an older woman say mama and a younger woman say sisi, an older man say tata and a younger man ubuti
 If someone says “I’m gonna learn you” what they mean is I’m going to teach you
 If someone says “I can borrow you” what they mean is I can lend you
 If someone calls you macie it means girl In Afrikaans, hello macie
 To say how are you in Afrikaans is ‘Hoe gaan dit?’ and to say I’m good thanks you say ‘gaan goed danke’

Food
 If you eat at a restaurant you are expected to pay 10% tip but no one will force you to do so.
 The stereotype is true, black people love chicken
 If you want to have a bbq in South Africa you call it a braai
 If you want take out Steers has the best chips, the Spur here tastes just as bad as the Spur in Australia, McDonalds is exactly the same, the KFC chips and gravy are awful, Wimpy is nothing to rave about, Nandos is the same as in Australia and unfortunately there is no Hungry Jacks
 If you are a vegetarian then good luck however Steers has a great tasting veggie burger
 My favourite places to go for food are Cubana, Dulcies and Kuwai
 If someone in South Africa offers you tea first ask what kind of tea it is, if they reply with Five Roses then drink away however if they offer you Rooibos tea politely decline because it tastes horrible

Transport
 Cars drive on the left side of the road
 A traffic light is called a robot
 South Africa is not pedestrian friendly at all, do not walk out in front of a car and expect it to stop even at a pedestrian crossing
 When reversing out of a parking spot you may notice someone directing your car, these are car guards and usually people just give them a couple of coins for their efforts
 The best mode of transport here is to have your own car, the second best is to have a friend who has a car, the third best is to live right next to all the things you need each day and walk, fourth best is to have a friend of a friend with a car, fifth best is to get taxi, sixth best is to get a bus
 Travelling long distance there are several options, hiring a car and driving yourself, getting a bus, flying, getting taxi or hitchhiking
o Hiring a car can be expensive especially with petrol prices at close to r10 a litre
o A bus is one of the worst options but sometimes the only way especially when you have a tight budget. The best bus is Intercape Sleepliner because it is the most roomy and you can push your chair back really far but on average you will spend 16hours in a bus if you travel distances like PE to JHB and twice I’ve been in a bus that broke down
o Flying I think is the best, if you book at the right time you can get really good deals. For domestic flights these are the available airlines: South African Airways which gives you a meal on the flight and from my experience is usually the cheapest, Kulula which actually means take your top off but also means freedom in another sense, 1time which has a habit of being delayed and you have to pay extra for food, Mango who I have never used and British Airways which also gives you a meal.
o Getting taxi is a good option only in specific circumstances and you would probably only consider when your destination is a few hours away. Taxis don’t leave until they are full so this can sometimes mean waiting hours in a taxi before you leave. There are also no guarantees for safety when catching taxi but at least you get dropped off at the door of your destination.
o Hitchhiking is a very common mode of transport, you will often see people sitting on the side of highways with signs for where they need to go and the best part is that it’s free.
 If you are walking through a taxi terminal don’t step in any puddles... enough said?
 If you do catch taxi be wary of sitting in the front seat, if there is no taxi guy to collect money all the money will be passed up to you and you will have to sort it out and give everyone their change
 The best seats in the taxi are window seats on the driver’s side but not in the back row. Usually taxis try to cram in as many people as possible into the taxi and this may mean losing all your bum space. The most comfortable people in these situations are next to the window on the driver’s side. This also means you don’t have to get out of the taxi if someone else needs to get off

Townships
 Townships are the governments solution to the housing problem, people build shacks and eventually the council will build them a house
 When walking in the townships you are expected to greet all the people you pass by, if you do not greet people they will think that you are rude and over educated.
 It’s probably not a good idea to wear your best shoes in the townships, for the most part all the roads are dirt roads and one way people know you’ve been in a township is when your shoes are covered in mud
 If you are a ‘non-African’ it’s probably not the best idea to venture into townships alone, although in my experience I have never had any problems there are people that will take advantage of a situation
 Again I have never had an issue walking around the townships with my Blackberry out or with my camera but it’s probably better to be discreet about your personal belongings

Tourist Stuff
 My favourite game parks were Addo Elephant Sanctuary near Port Elizabeth and Pilansburg Game Park in Rustenburg. I did not like Kruger, it was too big and you could go hours without seeing any animals and I did not like the Lion Park in Johannesburg. If you want to see a bunch of lions trapped in cages then it’s the perfect place. I don’t think they are treating the animals very well there and it felt so unnatural.
 The only animals you’ll see wandering the streets are cows, goats and donkeys. If you want to see elephants and lions go to a game park
 If you are travelling from South Africa to other African countries don’t be surprised if people, give you warnings about travelling in Africa especially people working in health care, many South Africans seem to think they are living on an island of some sort that is not part of the rest of the continent
 If you don’t get a joke that someone has made just watch Trevor Noah
 The must see South African cities are Johannesburg, Cape Town, Durban and Port Elizabeth.
o Johannesburg is less of a things to see city, it is great for restaurants, cafes and galleries and museums. In Johannesburg you will want to see Monte Casino, the Apartheid Museum and Gold Reef City. There are loads of places for shopping and hanging out like Melrose Arch, Sandton City, Greenside, Rosebank and so many more. You probably don’t need to dedicate too much time to this city
o Cape Town is by far my favourite city of South Africa. It is beautiful and has such an amazing atmosphere and vibe. It also has a huge restaurant and cafe culture but there is much more to do. It is surrounded by mountains that you can climb and hike, there are amazing galleries and museums, it’s great for shopping and there are lots of markets and festivals. The only downside with Cape Town is that it has beautiful beaches with a look but don’t touch policy. The water is ice cold and your limbs will actually fall off if you go in the water.
o Port Elizabeth is a good city for relaxing. It has beautiful beaches which you are able to swim in and just 40minutes out of PE is Jefferys Bay which is one of the best locations for surfing. You don’t need to dedicate too much time to PE as it is very small.
 If you are into road trips then you have to do the Garden Route. This is the drive from Port Elizabeth to Cape Town and there are so many amazing stops on the way
 The mobile phone network carriers here are Cell C, Vodacom, Mtn and Heita and if you want to buy a sim-card you must have your passport on you and a proof of address from either the hotel you are staying at or whatever accommodation you have

FAQ


What is BEE?

BEE is Black Economic Empowerment which was created to give black people a step up to compensate for the massive injustices of the past. From what I understand this means that if a black person and a white person are going for a job the black person will get it.

How do you identify a taxi?

A taxi is always a van, the way you know the difference between a regular van and a taxi is by how many white people are in it. If there is a white person driving it’s just someone’s car. Also taxis usually have someone with their head out the window yelling out the destination of the taxi. You will notice that a taxi takes no consideration to road rules or other cars.
There are also different types of taxis; those driven by coloured drivers and those driven by black drivers. Coloured taxis can be identified by how much they have been pimped out, usually with lots of stickers on the windows and paint jobs. They also have insane sound systems which are blasting Nikki Minaj, Drake and South African House Music.

Black taxis can be identified by the gospel music they are usually pumping however minus the sub woofa and 5 speakers in the back. Usually these taxis are also playing Celine Dion or Mariah Carey.
Different cities also have different signs for catching taxis, Johannesburg is the most complicated with so many different hand signals to stop certain taxis. PE and Cape Town have very easy taxi systems which I figured out within a few days. Also South Africans are very friendly and will help you out when you need it

Is there a dental problem in South Africa?

You may notice a large number of people who have no front teeth. This is not as a result of some kind of dental issue in South Africa. These people have removed their own teeth. Yes, strange, I know. In the coloured culture it became fashionable to remove your front teeth. I heard that it started out as a gang thing and then it just spread. Now you will see both guys and girls with no front teeth and it can start at any age. They call it a passion gap.

Will I get mugged?

There is a high rate of crime in South Africa but it really depends on the individual. I have had very little experiences with crime. One time in Pretoria I was driving with my windows down and at a red light a guy leant into my car and told me to give him my ring or he would kill me. I was so surprised that he wanted my ring and not my GPS that I just stared at him and when I looked into his hand and saw that he had no weapon I just went to put my window up when he walked off saying he was only joking. Another time at a club I felt a hand go into my side bag, a guy was trying to steal my wallet but I managed to catch him doing it so nothing was taken.
Really it depends on what kind of environment you are in and I guess to some extent the luck of the draw. Mostly be cautious of your sling bags and handbags as these are easy targets, also car windows get smashed if valuables are left inside and always be aware of personal safety.

Sometimes I see girls hitting themselves in the head, why are they doing this?

If you haven’t heard of a weave before be ready to be exposed. A weave is a wig that is sown wonto a woman’s head with a giant needle and wool. First they braid the hair really tightly into rows and then sow the weave into each row. These rows are called tracks and you can see them when it is windy and girl’s weaves go flying up. Because of how tight it is and the fact that you can’t really wash your hair girl’s heads start to itch and also hurt but scratching will result in moving the weave or loosening it from the head so girl’s have resorted to hitting or patting their heads to alleviate the pain. So no, it is not self harm.
Another type of hair extensions is twists where smalls locks of hair are twisted into existing hair to make it longer.


So I hope that gives you all a little bit of insight into South Africa so you can better prepare yourselves when you come to visit.